log

its 14:46 tuesday april 29 2025 talked with some friends havent talked to in a long time it was like i talked to them last week or last month the interesting thing about life is when you meet someone you plant a seed in the ground now this seed, will grow into a plant if nurtured and this plant will thrive if nutured how is the plant nurtured? both collectively and individually together we nurture it, in the time spent together the conversations had individually we nurture it by nurturing ourselves while we may be seperated by time and distance we are only an arms length a way because we have been nuturing ourselves and the plant is healthy and we spoke like its only been a week not 5 years so it goes

its 10:12 am monday april 28, 2025. the sky is blue the spring is sprungin the birds are chirping the flowers are flowering for some reason today i am tired though maybe it was a long weekend maybe it is the weight of pushing forward and hoping and reaching and dreaming of things that seem to be just out of my reach still i walk still i push forward and maybe it will all be for nothing and the opportunity will be lost but so it goes

its 19:54 friday april 25, 2025 https://archive.org/details/playerpiano0000vonn so it goes

its 19:48 friday april 25, 2025 its the funny thing of being asked to automate your own job away being capable enough to build the tool the tool that will replace you and your coworkers the first vonnegut book I ever read was player piano and while my memory is blurry on the specific lines the soul of the story sticks in my soul god damn that man vonnegut was right about so much i think of the player piano tinkling away in the corner of the bar i think about the cruelty of humanity no longer being economically viable so tomorrow i work and maybe the day after but not so many days are left until all that is left is the player piano so it goes

its 10:02 am friday april 25, 2025 the skys are grey the rain is lightly pattering against the windows in the background a machine runs man slowly, or rather quickly, conquering his surroundings old being torn out replaced by new i am thankful for this old farmhouse i live in around us, we are the only one left surrounded by new apartment buildings devoid of soul devoid of story cheap paintings on the walls in attempt to bring culture to the space we were lucky to get this space fortunate that the people lined up before us that when they viewed it they couldnt handle that the bathroom wasnt modern and that the kitchen was pieced together this space allows me to breath the exposed wood, hundreds of years old i am not the first person to sit here and i wont be the last so it continues

its 23:32 on thursady april 24, 2025 the sky is black the lights flicker on and off outside maybe they are motion activated, and when a cat walks by the turn on there are lots of cats around here and not a lot of mice i am slowly starting to build a world hiding little pieces of myself an invitation to look deeper and i invite you to look deeper that is the point isnt it i dont really know what i am doing though like generally i think i am scared and just keep placing one foot infront of the next trying not to think too much but also being cursed with thinking too much as long as i think in the right direction so it will continue

its 22:02 on thursday april 24, 2025 the sky is black the world is still turning thoughts run through my head of what the answer could be things seem more disjointed day by day but yet something needs to happen things are happening things have been wrong for much longer than most people have been willing to admit it has lead us to the place we are now and people seem to be surprised when they look around like how did i get here how did we get here nothing makes sense but everything makes sense somedays i feel like i am on top of the world otherdays i feel like an imposter, like i cant keep up too much social media, too much comparing myself against what others are accomplishing too much losing track of my thread of falling ooff my path but yet here we are and this is my attempt to create for me to reach the people like me to be honest enough to start to close the gaps that i see to make the world closer again and create space for people to breath and so it continues

its 11:56 am, on thursday april 24, 2025. the sky is grey the world is turning and so it begins